Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Look, Ma! No hands!

D-Moms. For anyone in the know, this term can strike fear into your core, especially members of the DOC {diabetes online community}. D-Moms have street cred, they are the jocks with letterman jackets, and don't you DARE challenge anything they say. They are mama-bears apt to snap an uneducated twit's neck if they suggest their child maybe "shouldn't eat that".

I have always admired these women from the sidelines. Going from a Mom to D-Mom is not something that any mother pines for. Hugging new T1 families in my office often evokes many emotions from me. How did my parents handle this? How did they keep me safe? What if my boys get T1? Will Dr. C and I be able to surf these scary ass waves of diabetes land??

The DOC has opened up many avenues that parents weren't able to access years ago. We now live in a world where we can Google carb counts and ask Facebook how we should DualWave that piece of pizza. We are inundated with blogs filled with helpful...and sometimes not so helpful...information. What someone believes as gospel, another spouts as pure rubbish. I can find 87 different answers to 2 questions in 30 seconds. How do Moms do it? I often wonder what level of basket case I would be worrying about lows, excursions, pump malfunctions...I just know how many little issues I face daily, and then to be in charge of such a Mini-betic??? My kid can barely tell me when he needs to poop, how the HELL is he supposed to carefully articulate the feelings of hypoglycemia??? It's enough to make me batty just considering it.

A deep dark crevice of the DOC lies in parents, even patients, that become martyrs for the disease. That thrive on the drama and turmoil that can so easily consume any one of us on any given day. Blow by blow accounts of "horrible" nurses, "know it all" Endos, "money grubbing" pharmacies, " dumb ass" teachers...some comments and blogs are fueled purely from hatred and depression. At times I've seen DOC members of this caliber become cyber bullies, attacking innocents just looking for more information. These situations must be tread upon lightly, as many times there are much deeper lines that must be examined as a root cause for the behavior. Some parents take their role as sole caretaker of the diabetic too far, and it then defines that person. To the point where conversations can ONLY revolve around their plight. I ache for these people. I want to hug them and say "yes, this DOES suck...you DO matter"...and "PLEASE just be niiiiice!". I've seen some wretched claws let loose in the DOC, and I now avoid many of those known "hang outs" as much as possible.

Being a care taker, whether it be full or part time, is NEVER easy. Your job is NEVER done, and often you do it without pay or recognition. It's from love. I love my husband, and sometimes get angry at him for "making" me take care of his diabetes (only at times), but for the most part I enjoy doing what I can to make his life easier. Do I wish he'd get up and get his own damn juice? Of course, but secretly, I thrive on knowing he's doing better because of my help.

So hats off to ALL diabetes caretakers, not just D-Moms {even though they have bigger balls than any man I will EVER meet}. You are not alone. The DOC is only a click away.....

{The above Keep Calm poster can be found in the Keep Calm Store @ Etsy.com}

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