Thursday, June 23, 2011
No...I'm not dumb...I may be blonde, but I'm certainly not dumb. Excess. Yes...it's ruining society. But for blogosphere purposes, I shall stick to discussing the excess that pertains to those of us blessed with the 'betes.
In the wake of leaving Company X, dealing with sick kids, coming back to private practice AND being a badass in general, I have dealt with some wonky ass blood sugars as of late. Stress is a bitch. I have the highest A1c that I've had in over a decade. NOT.HAPPY. Anyone know a good endocrinologist?? (Haha just joshin ya, Dr. C). So, yeah...pure suckage on my part. There would be days when I would be getting ready for bed and realize "Holy shitballs!!! I haven't tested since yesterday!". What a douche canoe.
On top of having craptastic control of my sugars, I've also been hopelessly insomnial (did I just make up a word?). No sleep. Dumb sugars. Big life changes. On the upside, I've been able to avoid a massive yeast infection. SCORE.
Thank God for my boys. They keep me sane. They ground me and make every ounce of suckage totally worth it. My friends and family are pretty decent, tambien. So, in spite of all of this suck...I turned to drugs. Yes. Drugs. Well...ok, they are prescription drugs. And also, non habit forming. Ok..shit...I took home some prescription sleep aides. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Put the kids down, kiss Dr. C g'night, pop a pill, wake up pissing sunshine & shitting unicorns. Little did I know, sleeping pills + my diabetic self = no es bueno. They said "Eff you, CrumpNstuff". Asshats.
It all started with my lifelong problem with overnight hypoglycemia, and my eternal affinity for cookies and milk. As any type 1 knows, stopping at 15 grams of carbs to treat a low ain't easy, ESPECIALLY at night. Add a sleeping pill to the mix, and holy McEffBalls, batman! I wake up with an empty package of Graham crackers, a milk mustache and maple syrup for blood. Yet, I wasn't too intoxicated to check my blood glucose to verify my nocturnal hypoglycemia. Dumb. So this has actually happened a handful of times...sleeping pill...night time low...binge eating correction...wake up in the 300s with a fuzzy recollection of said events.
It is SO hard to stop at just 15 grams. It's hard for my patients, too! The body's alarm system (a rush of stress hormones) is TOO effin efficient. Our body is told to eat to treat the low....problem is, hormones don't speak English. El problemo, Houston. How are we to trust that this tiny amount of juice or food is ENOUGH? When you are low, there's no fighting that feeling of urgency. Cookies NOW inside my stomach MILK, no JUUUUICE...wait, didn't I buy candy DAMMIT it's in the car, but oooooooooo I could eat the shit outta some fruit roll ups..yeah, so you know what I'm talking about.
Since I'm the "expert", I recommend 15 g juice boxes (my fave are Apple & Eve), your fave mini candy or 100 calorie packs if your low isn't too shabby. You also can't go wrong with the ole fashioned glucose tabs, unless they are Sour Apple or Watermelon....well, because, that's just plain diirrrrrty.
So, blog fans, how do you combat this issue? Pad locks? Bed restraints? Food police? Hit me back with your input.
Stay classy, insulin army,