Thursday, June 23, 2011

Excessive Compulsive

No...I'm not dumb...I may be blonde, but I'm certainly not dumb. Excess.'s ruining society. But for blogosphere purposes, I shall stick to discussing the excess that pertains to those of us blessed with the 'betes.

In the wake of leaving Company X, dealing with sick kids, coming back to private practice AND being a badass in general, I have dealt with some wonky ass blood sugars as of late. Stress is a bitch. I have the highest A1c that I've had in over a decade. NOT.HAPPY. Anyone know a good endocrinologist?? (Haha just joshin ya, Dr. C). So, yeah...pure suckage on my part. There would be days when I would be getting ready for bed and realize "Holy shitballs!!! I haven't tested since yesterday!". What a douche canoe.

On top of having craptastic control of my sugars, I've also been hopelessly insomnial (did I just make up a word?). No sleep. Dumb sugars. Big life changes. On the upside, I've been able to avoid a massive yeast infection. SCORE.

Thank God for my boys. They keep me sane. They ground me and make every ounce of suckage totally worth it. My friends and family are pretty decent, tambien. So, in spite of all of this suck...I turned to drugs. Yes. Drugs. Well...ok, they are prescription drugs. And also, non habit forming. Ok..shit...I took home some prescription sleep aides. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Put the kids down, kiss Dr. C g'night, pop a pill, wake up pissing sunshine & shitting unicorns. Little did I know, sleeping pills + my diabetic self = no es bueno. They said "Eff you, CrumpNstuff". Asshats.

It all started with my lifelong problem with overnight hypoglycemia, and my eternal affinity for cookies and milk. As any type 1 knows, stopping at 15 grams of carbs to treat a low ain't easy, ESPECIALLY at night. Add a sleeping pill to the mix, and holy McEffBalls, batman! I wake up with an empty package of Graham crackers, a milk mustache and maple syrup for blood. Yet, I wasn't too intoxicated to check my blood glucose to verify my nocturnal hypoglycemia. Dumb. So this has actually happened a handful of times...sleeping pill...night time low...binge eating correction...wake up in the 300s with a fuzzy recollection of said events.

It is SO hard to stop at just 15 grams. It's hard for my patients, too! The body's alarm system (a rush of stress hormones) is TOO effin efficient. Our body is told to eat to treat the low....problem is, hormones don't speak English. El problemo, Houston. How are we to trust that this tiny amount of juice or food is ENOUGH? When you are low, there's no fighting that feeling of urgency. Cookies NOW inside my stomach MILK, no JUUUUICE...wait, didn't I buy candy DAMMIT it's in the car, but oooooooooo I could eat the shit outta some fruit roll ups..yeah, so you know what I'm talking about.

Since I'm the "expert", I recommend 15 g juice boxes (my fave are Apple & Eve), your fave mini candy or 100 calorie packs if your low isn't too shabby. You also can't go wrong with the ole fashioned glucose tabs, unless they are Sour Apple or Watermelon....well, because, that's just plain diirrrrrty.

So, blog fans, how do you combat this issue? Pad locks? Bed restraints? Food police? Hit me back with your input.

Stay classy, insulin army,
Nurse Kelley


  1. We should buy stock in apple & eve around here :)

    Truly, Crumply, this 15g limit is hard for me, too and I'm not the 'betic in this relationship. If I though it would help, I would bathe Matt in syrup to get that low up quickly.

    I've had to chill out as a support person. I can't even imagine what it's like to be experiencing the symptoms.

    Matt's a juice box guy. We have them EVERYWHERE and the kids have never had one! It's Daddy's juice :)

    Sorry your sugars are reflecting the stressors you've been through, girlie. I have every faith in you to re-access your diabetic zen.


  2. I am a type 2 and prob the worst of them I hate doing blood checks and often forget my meds I am a busy mom of 3 (9-6-2) typically I fall in the Sugar side all the time. I usualy do the worst thing when low I use that as a time to have all the wrong things my fav chocolate milk. Lately thoe I have been forced to test with huge highs huge headach. Headed back to carb counting as we speak

  3. I combat this issue with adult explicitives and a big correction in the morning.
    Even when I have the little juices and I know one will do, I'm downing two and going to town on a granola bar.

    and I feel you on stress, I've been in the same boat as of late and have been running mid 200s all summer. Which hasn't happened in years.

    If I survive summer school, find a plan B to my nursing school plan B, and/or find a big kid job maybe I can get the stress down be able to pay my bills and be back in my BAMF range of awesomeness.

  4. oh my gosh...i love your blog!
    i'm a mom to a 3 year old type 1 "pumper" who was diagnosed at 16 months old (while on the ketogenic diet for seizures...ponder that!)
    she's non-verbal, so she keeps me guessing all the time. needless to say we keep our endocine team on their toes :)
    i'm glad to find your blog!

  5. As the caregiver, it's SO HARD!! (which you know, because I constantly bitch about it. Sorry.) I sit there with my husband, in the middle of the night, and want to cry for him. It used to make me angry, because he'd eat nothing but crap and sometimes 50+ carbs. Now I know that he needs my help. I get him a juice box and just talk to him while we wait. It's HARD. He cries (don't tell him I told you this!!) he begs and often times I'll give in 5 minutes early.

    It's not easy to explain to him that he has to wait and my best defense is threatening him with "Nurse Kelley". I won't repeat what he says back to me. I'd hate to hurt your feelings. LOL!! ;)