Sunday, November 28, 2010

The road to becoming a Kardashian is paved by many trips to the can....


As my 10 year high school reunion is rapidly, RAPIDLY approaching...so is the stark realization that I could shed a few extra pounds. This last pregnancy really took its toll on my poor body, I ended up gaining about 60 lbs with Big B (I've since lost a little over 70...but I digress). So my new 12 stretch marks and I, like any other impressionable twenty somethings, want a fast fix. Enter: Kim Kardashian...yes, KIM KARDASHIAN. I want her body..wait, I mean like I want to have a body like hers..not that...well, maybe...AHEM, where was I??? So $40 worthless dollars later, I had my QuickTrim starter kit, along with a plan to look like Kim in 3 months. Aside from intense caffeine jitters, and 4-8 daily trips to the bathroom to take my "Kardashian", as I so lovingly call them, I ain't seen a whole lotta curves and olive skin. **Sighhhhhhhhh** Guess this means I actually need to incorporate less carbs (insert blood curdling scream), more aerobic exercise (Couch to 2K, anyone???), and maybe some Symlin into my life. Wahhhhhhhh but I wanna look like Kim Kardashian NOWWWWWWW.

Post baby weight is a BITCH to lose....even a BIGGER bitch for someone pumping a fat converting hormone into their body. Meh. Its so easy to preach and tell OTHER women how to lose weight. I want to eat Mac n Cheese, drink 2% lattes, take Kardashian magic pills, and wake up with less dimples in my ass, OH, and don't forget the natural bronze glow. Is that too much to ask, readers???

The bestie and I have been discussing our interest in becoming runners....so, I'm thinking we are going to start small, and take up mall walking. Might pick us up a sugar daddy (no pun intended) in the meantime ;)

Well, I'm going to go take a Kardashian and come up with other, non-labor intensive ways to lose weight....let me know if you have any!

Blah.

3 comments:

  1. I can so relate...and now that we are thinking about working on baby #2...I feel I should start the game ahead... I need to shed the extra 10 lbs. I have been holding on to that I didn't lose from Thing 1. Much less the potential weight that will come with Thing 2. I did aerobics through most of my first pregnancy...not happenin' now...and won't be in the foreseeable future...I hope to walk but that has been a joke! I feel you- wish there was a quick fix!

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  2. I wish I had some good ideas, but all I have is a run that I think you might like. Ever heard of the Warrior Dash? (Google it!) I've never been, but it's TOTALLY up my alley! Any place where I can get down and dirty in some mud, is the place for me. There's one in March, in Conroe, and I've already got a team together. Los Cochinos. You and your bestie should totally look into it.

    Jamie P.

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  3. I just saw your Facebook page and love it! I love how facebook prompts you to look at other peoples sites. Thanks Facebook! I was diagnosed about 7 years ago with Diabetes. About a year ago a friend introduced me to a company called First Fitness. They have a complete line of health and weight loss products. I began taking their products and my numbers have dropped significantly! They have some really great products and they are all natural. We are putting together an Xtreme Loser weight loss program using our products. If you are interested take a look at my websiste: www.firstfitness.com/mpmondsini or give me a call: Patty Mondsini 352-263-8844

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