Sunday, November 28, 2010

How YOU doinnnnn??

Dating in college was mostly fun for me. I chose to keep my 'betes under wraps until a guy proved himself worthy of my time and affections. This was back before my pumping days, and was easy to keep on the DL. Testing before leaving the house, and insulin shots in the bathroom were my norm. I'm very lucky to have never required assistance for a severe low sugar, so fear of dropping low was never realized by the likes of me.
I have a friend who went on a great date, and really connected with the guy, only to wake up to EMTs mainlining dextrose into her arm, while her date, almost in tears, tried to recall her last name for the paramedics. This annoyed her greatly, but proved to be true love for him (he soon got the boot for being too clingy).
Soon after the start of my dating relationship with Dr. C, I really began to look up to his attitude about the 'betes. He tested right at the table, he lifted his shirt for injections, no matter who was watching, and he had this "take it or leave me" air about him that I was so envious of. One night, I was at his place for dinner and a movie, he had begun to act goofy, and I thought nothing of it (I mean, c'mon, most guys are immature and act like little boys when they flirt), until he got up and started running laps around his dining room table. I kind of looked around, to make sure I wasn't being "Punkd", and finally asked him WTF? He answered me in garbled spanglish....to this day I have no idea what he said to me that night. Once I was able to get some Starbursts into him, we had a good laugh about it, although I could tell he was embarrassed.
After a good 6 weeks of dating, Dr. C said the 4 little words a girl never wants to hear "we need to talk....". My heart in my throat, I listened as he proceeded to try and break up with me because he "didn't want his kids to be born with type 1". Amid the hurt, confusion and anger, I was also somehow empathetic to his feelings. I left feeling lost for words.....
Dr. C couldn't stay away...I was his "type" (har har), whether he wanted to admit it or not. Not long after "the talk", which we ended up pretending never happened, he presented me with a sparkly sign of his affection.
Dating sucks...dating with diabetes sucks even harder. There are dating websites out there for people with chronic diseases, disabilities, weird fetishes, even one for people with STDs!! But none really for just us type 1s. Not that I would have necessarily sought out a partner with type 1, my life has turned out pretty good, considering. He's had all of his "shots" (again, har har), and gets me and my plight like no other. Have we been criticized for procreating, and creating children with a higher chance of developing type 1, you bet. And to all of those critics, go eff yourself. My kids are amazingly gorgeous and healthy, and would it be my worst nightmare for one of them to end up with this disease, hell yeah!! But, who better to care for them than Dr. C and me??

So, sports fans....what challenges have YOU met in the dating world with diabetes? And for those of us that are married with/to type 1, what advice do you have?

3 comments:

  1. Being married to a T1D for 25 yrs, I just want to say that it has never really been a big issue for us. That may be because Steve doesn't expect ME to take care of his diabetes, he does that, thought I have taken care of more than a few lows; but he is more upset by them than me. The 'betes has never been central to the relationship, its just a fact of life. I think that's a big part of the success. He's a person first, who happens to also have had T1D since he was nine. It was also never a secret; he was like Dr. C.; when we met, he had an insulin pump that was 3x6 inches and was showing it off cuz it was new technology; and you know, he is a real technology geek! Maybe it helped that I was a nurse, so this wasn't scary territory, which I can see would be different for others. My advice is to learm what you can if you are dating a diabetic, and if its meant to be, it will work out. Diabetes is NOT a deal breaker!

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  2. I have type 1 and have been married for a year and a half. When we began dating it was hard for me to tell him I had this nasty chronic disease and all that it entailed for my day to day life and what the future may or may not hold. But he was super sweet and supportive and always has been. During our ceremony and honeymoon he was better than me about thinking to check my BG and make sure there was something near by to treat a low, and he's been very patient since our marriage as I take longer to get ready, etc., as a result of all the meds and BG checking. The most difficult thing about being married to a non-type 1 is maintaining the strict diet I adhered to prior to our marriage. He's always left hungry if we eat the low carb, veg focused, smaller portions I prefer, and I'm left with high BG if we eat the carb-tastic meals he likes. I also hate it when I go low during awkward moments, or when we're tying to jog or work out. I used to feel so strong before my diagnoses and now I feel like such a weakling at times. I'm looking forward to reading your blog to hear your advice about dieting and weight loss, I've hard the hardest time with all that. I've gained about 45lbs since my diagnoses three and a half years ago and NOTHING I've tried has worked.

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  3. Ha, I do not date a lot, but some guys think that I am bionic because I have an omnipod. I personally do not think that it is sexy. I don't really hide things, it is just not who I am. Great blog!

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