Thursday, June 23, 2011

Excessive Compulsive


No...I'm not dumb...I may be blonde, but I'm certainly not dumb. Excess. Yes...it's ruining society. But for blogosphere purposes, I shall stick to discussing the excess that pertains to those of us blessed with the 'betes.

In the wake of leaving Company X, dealing with sick kids, coming back to private practice AND being a badass in general, I have dealt with some wonky ass blood sugars as of late. Stress is a bitch. I have the highest A1c that I've had in over a decade. NOT.HAPPY. Anyone know a good endocrinologist?? (Haha just joshin ya, Dr. C). So, yeah...pure suckage on my part. There would be days when I would be getting ready for bed and realize "Holy shitballs!!! I haven't tested since yesterday!". What a douche canoe.

On top of having craptastic control of my sugars, I've also been hopelessly insomnial (did I just make up a word?). No sleep. Dumb sugars. Big life changes. On the upside, I've been able to avoid a massive yeast infection. SCORE.

Thank God for my boys. They keep me sane. They ground me and make every ounce of suckage totally worth it. My friends and family are pretty decent, tambien. So, in spite of all of this suck...I turned to drugs. Yes. Drugs. Well...ok, they are prescription drugs. And also, non habit forming. Ok..shit...I took home some prescription sleep aides. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Put the kids down, kiss Dr. C g'night, pop a pill, wake up pissing sunshine & shitting unicorns. Little did I know, sleeping pills + my diabetic self = no es bueno. They said "Eff you, CrumpNstuff". Asshats.

It all started with my lifelong problem with overnight hypoglycemia, and my eternal affinity for cookies and milk. As any type 1 knows, stopping at 15 grams of carbs to treat a low ain't easy, ESPECIALLY at night. Add a sleeping pill to the mix, and holy McEffBalls, batman! I wake up with an empty package of Graham crackers, a milk mustache and maple syrup for blood. Yet, I wasn't too intoxicated to check my blood glucose to verify my nocturnal hypoglycemia. Dumb. So this has actually happened a handful of times...sleeping pill...night time low...binge eating correction...wake up in the 300s with a fuzzy recollection of said events.

It is SO hard to stop at just 15 grams. It's hard for my patients, too! The body's alarm system (a rush of stress hormones) is TOO effin efficient. Our body is told to eat to treat the low....problem is, hormones don't speak English. El problemo, Houston. How are we to trust that this tiny amount of juice or food is ENOUGH? When you are low, there's no fighting that feeling of urgency. Cookies NOW inside my stomach MILK, no JUUUUICE...wait, didn't I buy candy DAMMIT it's in the car, but oooooooooo I could eat the shit outta some fruit roll ups..yeah, so you know what I'm talking about.

Since I'm the "expert", I recommend 15 g juice boxes (my fave are Apple & Eve), your fave mini candy or 100 calorie packs if your low isn't too shabby. You also can't go wrong with the ole fashioned glucose tabs, unless they are Sour Apple or Watermelon....well, because, that's just plain diirrrrrty.

So, blog fans, how do you combat this issue? Pad locks? Bed restraints? Food police? Hit me back with your input.

Stay classy, insulin army,
Nurse Kelley

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I'm Baaaaa-aaack


Me + Corporate America = Epic Fail

Apparently my cursing, drinking and smart assing is frowned upon in this eastablishment! That, and I wasn't able to follow the 400+ patients I have seen over the years through Dr C's practice. Not to mention I was spending time away from my spawn, and I hated that! Product X did me wrong, so I left! Simple as that. I will miss the money, but that's about it.

Dr. C is heavy into Medtronic pumps, and had slowly started prescribing more of Product X, so it will be interesting to see where that dynamic goes. I learned that endo offices are ALL soap operas, not just mine...so that was reassuring!

I love to talk, flirt, joke and be loud. That's me. I incorporate myself into my diabetes teachings, and I think that is why I have done so well in this arena. I have always maintained that to treat diabetes you need insulin, education and a little humor. So to be told to not be myself, to clean up my FaceBook page, to refrain from posting on my blog or writing my book...it was devestating. I belong in a place where I can be myself, my patients have full access to me, and can call me whenever they need something. That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it.

I had first thought it was a mistake to leave Company X, but the love and open arms that awaited me at BVEndo was heart and soul warming. Such an affirmation that I am where I need to be, with who I'm supposed to be with and that I'm doing the right thing. PLUS, camp is coming up!! Wooohooooo!!

So, I know this post is boring, but I'm just getting my toes wet again, and am so happy to be able to post again RESTRICTION FREE!! If you have anything you would like me to post on, I am always open to suggestions!!!

Love, Nurse Kelley

PS.
Effa YOU, Company X!!