Saturday, January 15, 2011

Bluuuueeeeee Bayouuuuuuuuu

So when I Googled "diabetes and depression", an interesting thing occurred. First, EVERYTHING was centered around type TWO 'betes, and secondly, several articles stated that diabetes increases your risk of developing depression, and that depression increases your risk for developing diabetes. Hmmmmph. That's...well...depressing!!

For some reason, depression has always been viewed as a taboo subject. Whyyyyyy? It's so common! Over 14 million peeps are clinically depressed in the US. You would think we would all want to commiserate!!

I think my demons were especially difficult to deal with as a teenager, when the dark thoughts crept in. My A1cs were in the double digits...I was drinking...and doing things to my body that were just not healthy. So, not only did I feel like crap physically, mentally I wasn't fit either. Thus began my parent's tug-o-war battle with my life. Endos, psychologists, pediatricians, psychiatrists...I had given up and didn't give a shit. Well I long as it had to do with classic rock, Vodka, the Internet, my friends and older boys. I was a mess!!!!

I eventually got my act (somewhat) together, and made it to college, where I chose my path to become a nurse. Good thing...because I think I'm quite good at it ;-) I still fight with those same demons that haunted me as a 16 year old, though...and have had some pretty effing heavy confrontations with severe post partum depression. Yay for my world class psychiatrist and top dollar pills! Bottom a diabetic, you should be in tune with your body...this includes your head. Diabetes SUCKS...and being faced with a life plagued by a chronic disease can be quite the sugar pill to swallow. Talk to your family...friends..Endo..ob/gyn...teller in the bank drive through...just know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! There is therapy with a counselor, support groups, girl's night out and medications...utilize one, or all, of them. Without the help of my friends and doctor, I would be up a creek right now. My kids deserve the best me I have to offer, and I didn't want to leave my bedroom. I love them, I love myself, and I'm learning to kind of like my diabetes (which I neglected during themost severe period of my PPD....experienced highest A1c in over 10 years...eeeeeeek!!!).

I want y'all to also realize that the body is a very complicated mess. High or low sugars during the day can cause feelings of fatigue, depression and anxiety....wacky sugars overnight can keep you up, depriving you of sleep, which ain't good for your head....stress revs up your body's stress hormones, which in turn raises sugars and makes you feel hungry (bull shit!!!!!!!!). So very much about you is tied to..well..everything else!!! That pesky gland, the thyroid, can also cause feelings of depression or make sure your doc checks it out at least once a year (a Hashimoto girl, here!!! I tell my parents they genetically screwed me). Low vitamin D levels have also been shown to aggravate depression, so make sure you ate getting your 10 minutes, naked, in the sun daily....or you can take a supplement. I personally take 2,000 IUs per day, and a 50,000 chewable (Replesta..ask your pharmacist) every 2 weeks. Chit chat with your doc about your own dose suited for your needs.

That's all I got! Was feeling a little blue this week, and didn't receive much relief...thought writing about it might be a little cathartic...and also give some others hope, and let them know they aren't alone out there!!!


  1. Every once in awhile I suffer from a low blood sugar reaction that lands me in the ER by ambulance. The last one, last week, my blood sugar was 20. It pisses off some of the people who love me, and I understand why. One of these times, I may not make it. The last two times, I've thought maybe I don't care. I've lived with this disease for 32 years, and it's just so hard...

  2. You are a Miracle and Created for such a time as this! Don't know what we would have done without you this past year!!!! We love, love, love you and want you to know it!

  3. Great post, Kelli! Love your honesty and how diabetes affects every angle of your life as a wife, mom and person. Keep up the great work!

  4. Dear Kelly: I have just found you and think I have landed in girlfriend heaven. Not only do you think like me, but you talk like me. Ohhhh we could have such fun together. I am a 54 yr old diagnosed with type 1 6 years ago when I had my first hip replaced. I go to Joslin Medical Center in CT and have been finally "getting it" With the help of my husband I am on track with my daily insulin but my A1C is still pretty much up there. EXCEPT I think I have found something that might just help me. I have sjogrens syndrome and fibromyalgia. My Rheumy has just put me on methotrexate and low and behold my blood sugars are normal. I mean NORMAL. WTF??? I still take my insulin for meals etc, but much less. My winters are hell in the NE. One storm after another effects my pain level, and I have a place of honor on the couch in January. But my bs is now normal. First time in 6 years. This is some sort of miracle drug for diabetics with rheumatoid factors I think. Or just a gift from God.
    Have you ever heard of this? Love your blog and will be here daily to get my dose of laughs and sage advice. Cynthia